Good Grief……………….. or not!
Grief today is a much-overused word and poorly understood. For me, it is an “umbrella” word under which layers of emotions reside and frequently simmer away, due to years of suppressed feelings of loss and disappointment.
Grief is commonly associated with the loss of a loved one accompanied by much sadness. And yes, that may well be the case, however under that sadness is often much confusion, shock, anger, guilt, frustration, a sense of displacement and many other emotions.
Some other areas that accompany feelings of grief can be:
- Feelings of loss or bereavement as from a sense of great disappointment that things did not turn out as previously planned or expected eg, you had a great business plan but it just did not turn out as you expected.
- A sense of grief over plans being curtailed, ambitions never fulfilled or a necessary change of direction dictated by circumstances beyond our control eg Redundancy, serious illness, financial loss etc.
As a culture, we are not comfortable dealing with “grief”, whether it is our own or someone else’s. In fact, we are not taught or modeled how to deal with our emotions in general.
Too often logic overrides how we feel which suppresses our true feelings. Emotional intelligence (awareness) and intuition does not fit into logic and are two opposing forces. Women are generally more in tune with their emotions however for men, it is not accepted by them (driven by past culture) that they could be suffering from the same feelings of loss and disappointment. Mental health issues have become an epidemic for many of our men, so often they just do not know how to recognise that they are suffering from grief. No medication in the world can fix this. Grief is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of being human.
As with any emotion, Grief is just like anger, is an energy that needs to be released – this is done by first allowing it to flow through you and then recognising what it has also triggered within you. This may be difficult and overwhelming, so taking time and space for this is essential. Finding a good support team either friends or family or professional guidance is also essential as is honouring yourself during the process. We each respond to grief in different ways – so there can be no judgement on how you feel and heal.
In clinic – I frequently see issues of grief and often symptoms of suppressed grief – of which I am also guilty. Making sense of everything that comes into our path can be overwhelming at times. It takes time to move through the stages and layers in the process of healing. And some of those stages can last for what feels like ages while we try to understand and make sense of what happened. This is how our hearts and souls heal.
There are no medications that can heal the heart and spirit, however, Homeopathy may be of great benefit to assist with allowing this flow of energy. There are many homeopathic remedies that can assist with coming to terms with all the emotions that ‘grief’ presents, especially if you are feeling stuck. You will know this if your throat often feels restricted or feels like a lump is stuck in there, or you find yourself crying for no good reason or just feel sad all the time (which can be confused with depression). Depression is often linked to suppressed anger.
By the way, crying is good………………. or so I found out the hard way! This is how you allow energy to flow. Not judging yourself for crying takes mindfulness and practice.
“Now” is always a good time to clean out old redundant thought patterns and emotions. Need Help?? Come and see me, bookings are easy online. BOOK HERE